Obsessions and Lamentations #16 - Fame Whores Edition

Nobody gives a shit about Lindsay Lohan, right? Can we all agree on that upfront? Nor do we want to sit around judging anybody’s personal habits or family relations, especially ones we only know through a media lens. But some situations reflect society’s maladies so forcefully that they can no longer be dismissed as simply fodder for the checkout line. For instance, I can’t help wondering if this particular train wreck is symptomatic of something broader, let’s call it virulent cynicism, that has infected fair Publius. 

 

First we have the spectacle of Lindsay’s dear mother, Candy or whatever her name is, escorting her daughter to nightclubs the night before her reckless driving deposition. Then, choosing to skip seeing how Lindsay makes out in court (she’ll check it later on E!), she gets busy calling news shows to try to grab $50K for an interview to talk about her beloved child. Meanwhile, Daddy Lohan, I think he’s called Ace, is prancing outside the courtroom, posing for pictures and talking to reporters and shouting support to the woman who said she never wanted him there in the first place. So let’s tally this up shall we? Here we have utter contempt for the judicial system from all parties, total disregard for a promising career that millions would kill for, parenting skills that seem, er, disengaged at best, the use of turmoil in the life of one’s own children for monetary gain or simply for a longer suck at the fame teat, and finally, what seem to be brazen attempts to usher the younger daughter into the same meat grinder that is currently chewing up Lindsay. Oh didn’t I mention that the younger Lohan, Lolita I believe, is being hauled around to the same clubs and placed in front of the same paparazzi, though only 15? 

 

Yikes. But, as I said, who cares about these well-fed people anyway? Not me. Yet take a gander at the laundry list of nauseating behavior above. This all seems possible only in a society that thinks money and fame are ends in themselves. I know this is a fairly obvious point, but when a mother will sell her own child out to MSNBC for a quick paycheck and the chance to sit in the green room with Dylan Ratigan, something is seriously fucked up - and I don’t think it’s just the Lohans. We are seeing this kind of thing all the time, aren’t we? Whether it’s on reality shows or just the local news, any chance for someone to get on camera for whatever reason is justified, no matter who gets exploited or hurt. And if there’s money to be made, well, maybe you’ll just have to permanently rupture your already fragile family ties because, shit, times are tough. Did you hear Bristol and Levi are shopping a reality show? Christ people, your Momma scares the bejesus out of me too and I know that she used you as props in her attempt to become High Priestess of America, but someday, when they open her Presidential Library Annex, she’s going to want her family there to wheel her to the ribbon cutting. 

 

Marx said, “Capital is dead labour and, like a vampire, can only keep itself alive by sucking the blood of living labour. The more blood it sucks, the more vigorously it lives.” He was talking mainly about money, but in our context we can expand the subject to fame as well, because it has an equally alienating and dehumanizing effect. Deep thinkers of pop culture constantly seek to explain our continuing fascination with the vampire myth and perhaps we’ve finally found the answer. Because everyone knows deep in their guts that the way our society functions, for all its mythologized benefits, is sucking something vital out of us. We instinctively know that nothing we do in our lives, and here I’m talking about the vast majority of us who do not control huge supplies of capital, is more valuable to society than our roles as consumers. We weren’t really surprised when after 9/11, Bush rallied the country to go out and shop. Like everything he did it was crass, but it also rang true. We don’t like to hear this truth, and many pretended to be shocked, but you didn’t hear the captains of industry complain, which told us all we needed to know. And now, with 1000 channels and zillions of websites to be scanned, the other great prophet of our time, Andy Warhol, asserts himself. Because to most people, fame has the same revivifying effect as cash, and is sought as an end in itself. But of course, it’s a vampire, and only promises great sex and eternal youth while it turns us into the walking dead. In more pragmatic terms, this constant pursuit of abstractions like fame and money, leads to alienation, as Marx said it would. That’s what we feel most of the time, and the Lohans et al just act it out for us. That way we see it somewhere else, far away, where it can’t hurt us. But the screens we stare at all day are mirrors too. What do you see in them?

 

I was watching a documentary on the Moody Blues this week and it claimed that, while still popular in America, the band gets no respect in England. One commentator insinuated that it was because they were perceived as a little fey. Really? The country that gave us David Bowie and The Human League thinks the Moodies weren’t tough enough? All I know is they were in my humble town a couple weeks ago and I went to see them play great song after great song. I was reminded how much wonderful music (fey or not, I like to call it pastoral) they produced over a 20+ year run. Throw a rock at any one of their first seven albums and you’re bound to hit a winner. And they were Prog before it was uncool, or even Prog. Maybe they didn’t have a huge lasting influence because basically all they did was write catchy, interesting songs and that’s not something everyone can do. That’s why I think they should be due for a late career renaissance in their home country, with critics and fans alike delighting in nothing more than splendid tunes, respectfully performed. Since when did that become something to deride?