Saw VI Kevin Greutert

After watching Saw VI, I can safely say that if the Jigsaw Killer were to challenge Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination in 2012, I’d be inclined to vote for him.

As you may or may not know, our federal lawmakers (and their families) are covered by a platinum-coated policy that covers every imaginable illness and pre-existing condition for a flat fee of a few hundred dollars a year per person. While our current empty suit promises “hope” and “change” and urges us to be “civil” and “patient” as we wait for the knuckledragging liars on the other side of the aisle to come around to the idea of bare-bones coverage for everyone, a Jigsaw administration would see that treacherous corporate tramp Max Baucus with his balls in a timed bear trap, the only way to release the lock being to get a comprehensive universal coverage bill to the president’s desk. Live or die, Max. Make your choice.

Alas, those sick of true social progress in this country being beaten down time and time again by those with an unhealthy fetish for long-decayed men in powdered wigs can only dream. And as the most entertaining horror flicks have always used viscera as a framing device to exploring deeper issues, Saw VI presents this country’s fuck-you-got-mine ethos in a more effective light than a groomed shill with a teleprompter ever could. The plot of Saw VI revolves around health care. This time, the unlucky player in Jigsaw’s “game” is the CEO of the insurance company that denied Jigsaw’s claims for his cancer treatments. Though dead since Saw IV, Jigsaw arranges to make sure that this captain of industry comes to see the life-or-death decisions he treats as numbers on a spreadsheet in a flesh and blood way.

Ostensibly, Jigsaw is the bad guy in these films. But when every victim in Saw VI is either a banking type or an employee of an insurance company, well, that’s how you turn a mass-murderer into a genuine folk-hero. More than watching faceless bleached blondes get their comeuppance for being vapid, it should excite disenfranchised former Obama supporters to watch two predatory mortgage lenders forced to mutilate themselves under threat of death. After all, even after the stock and housing collapses, far too few of these subhumans fell on their swords. Since the system would rather bail these investment and insurance firms out than hunt those responsible down like the animals they are, Jigsaw is glad to oblige We The People.

Saw VI is exactly what the series needed after its disastrous fifth installment: A high-concept premise that fulfills the promise of the original few films, up to and including the “big twist” at the end. Yes, for the first time in years, the reveal in a Saw movie will not only make perfect sense, but leave you with a shit-eating grin as you leave the theater. It may not be one for the ages, but by making its victims more reprehensible in a real-world context than its fictional villain, Saw VI establishes itself as not just a decent Halloween romp, but the feel-good movie of the year.