blackbear everything means nothing

When it comes to discussing 29-year-old Matthew Tyler Musto, primarily known as blackbear, it’s hard to even want to legitimize his work. He’s currently on his fifth studio album, this one titled everything means nothing, and the only emotion that’s really suitable for his music is apathetic disgust. This is the work of a boring grifter, picking an image and sticking with its icky, soulless sound. On paper, this should be the most repugnant album of the year, but saying that would underemphasize how boring this project is. While there are moments of true horror—opener hot girl bummer is an immediate red flag—the majority of this album is mid-tempo slosh with vaguely sexist sentiments layered atop. It’s not worth the anger, but it is deeply, truly terrible.

For the majority of his career, Musto was in cracks between mainstream radio and Spotify playlists, existing only for edgy teenagers and partying 20-year-olds to have something to put on while getting drunk or getting angry at their ex. He threatened to pop into mainstream culture once before, with 2017’s do re mi, which had the insufferable chorus of “Do re mi fa so fucking done with you.” In 2020, it appears he might be here to stay. hot girl bummer was a top 20 single, and the new album has plenty more of where that came from. Lines about Gucci diets, drinking your feelings away, and popping pills punctuate flaccid production with watery guitars and aggressively fake percussion. The mid-album trilogy of i feel bad, i feel 2 much, and i felt that is as asinine as you’d expect.

I feel like you shouldn’t have to explain why an album that contains a chorus that goes “I feel bad, I don’t feel good” is bad, but alas. This might be the ideal music for getting drunk, but it’s also the audio equivalent of a hangover: exhausting, numbing, and never-ending.