Locust Plague Soundscapes

By the time I finish writing this review, I'll have listened to Plague Soundscapes at least twice. You see, The Locust aren't interested in spending more than a minute to explore their music. Everything the band wants to accomplish and discover is done in about the same time it takes to watch an ad on the telly. Which is great, if you have no attention span, like myself.

The 23 songs that shape their second full-length and first for the Epitaph offshoot Anti (home to Tom Waits and Nick Cave, off all people), don't even register at a full 23 minutes, actually. Yes, if you run to the toilet or use a Q-Tip, you've missed half the album. While some may find that to be a worthless investment, The Locust succeeds with this quick formula by giving birth to a monstrosity that is an exhilarating rush and a pleasure to listen to five times in a row without ever growing tired.

Behind the madness (the screaming, the gut-wrenching riffs, the epileptic keyboards) is genius. Chaotic, extremely loud and without any shape or form, Plague Soundscapes is forward thinking music for those sick of the same old boring patterns of verse-chorus-verse.

The songs travel through a flurry of unconventional and futuristic noise, but the unpredictability alone makes it worth price of admission. With The Locust, you never know when exactly the songs will end and when the next song kicks in without expecting it, you'll be hoping that's shepherd's pie in your knickers.

And if none of this has convinced you, keep in mind there are two other angles of The Locust's to embrace.

1) They have the best song titles you and your drunken friends never thought up. Try these out for size: Captain Gaydar It's Time To Wind Your Clock Again; Psst! Is That A Halfie In Your Pants?; Who Wants A Dose Of The Clap?; Solar Panel Asses; and Priest With The Sexually Transmitted Diseases Get Out Of My Bed.

2) Your parents/significant other/flatmates will hate it, so it's a fantastic tool for a) revenge, b) pure dislike or c) some good ol' provocation.

If this still doesn't appeal to you, maybe The Locust aren't cut out for you, and vice versa. However, if that is the case, I feel sorry for your bland taste in music. The Darkness, this ain't.